Rant…

how is it that there is so much love in between us and will continue to be but you don’t want to be with me? You don’t want to work at this anymore. I know I didn’t show that I was there, but I started to regress into my little shell because for a little bit there I felt like I wasn’t good enough, or I didn’t do anything right. So I thought why try? For instance that time on your birthday. I tried to do everything perfectly and right but it all went to shit. After that I really just felt badly. But I should of been able to tell you that. I couldn’t, didn’t see this coming. I know I’ll probably blame myself for a while. But really what else do you expect? Look I know I didn’t do completely right by you in certain things and you know I’m sorry. You honestly deserve to be happy with someone who will give you everything you desire and want in someone. And hopefully the day you meet them you accept them for who they are and love all their flaws and not let it get to you too much. Because I’m sure they’ll love you and accept you with all your good and little quirks like I do. Who knows we may never see or talk to each other again but know I love you and miss you. But I’m not begging you to come back because I know that’s not an option for you and honestly I don’t think I’m even ready to go back to that either. After everything I’m hurt you would end it after you said you’d never and only gave me 3 reasons you would ever end it. But life has a funny way of working out right? When the only thing standing in the way of us being together is us. But then again if you really wanted to be with me, you would be here right? 

And a part of me is so mad at you. but i think that’s normal. oh well have a nice life with another woman you’ll find and love more than you thought imaginable. I’ll be fine without you. and if you ever decide to come back, just know and be sure you mean it next time. I can’t do this anymore.